Life and work lessons from Mariana Zobel de Ayala
If there is one woman with the gravitas to share pieces of advice on how to be successful in life and at work, it has to be Mariana Zobel de Ayala.
Acknowledging her privilege yet refusing to be defined solely by her illustrious lineage, the young Zobel de Ayala has, through hard work and determination, equipped herself over the years with the tools needed to build a future of her own and for those around her—all while unwittingly inspiring others to do the same.
During her keynote speech at She Slays 2023 last March 28, an event mounted by The Philippine STAR and PhilStar L!fe in celebration of International Women’s Month, the Harvard-educated bank executive recounted being at the bottom of the proverbial totem pole, and how her experiences climbing up the corporate ladder to where she is now has helped her become a true blue “futuremaker.”
“I did everything that needed to be done, especially the things that no one else wanted to do,” she shared.
It’s hard to imagine Zobel de Ayala making coffee for other people, right? But she did, among other tasks considered menial and relegated to those occupying the lowest rung of the workplace hierarchy.
As a 17-year-old production assistant in Hollywood for her gap year, Zobel de Ayala bought breakfast for actors, managed the payroll of 200 employees, and secured location permits. “Among all the many things, it taught me discipline and the value of working the 14- to 16-hour days, and most of the days started before 5 a.m.”
Hard as it is to believe, Mariana, like most of us, also had butterflies in her stomach during her first day at work. She felt what it was like to be the “new girl,” wide-eyed and confused, feeling all eyes on her back as she walked the halls of her office for the very first time. And like many of us, she also knows what it is like dealing with a difficult boss.
These make Zobel de Ayala all the more relatable, despite her larger-than-life persona. We’re doing ourselves a favor, then, to heed her life lessons as we, too, try to be our best futuremaker selves.
Seek purpose, not passion
The first guiding light that has helped her in life is about seeking purpose and not passion. “I feel that the chances of finding a job that you both love and that you’re really good at is quite rare. If you’re one of those, I congratulate you and I’m jealous, but for the remaining 99% of the world, I just wanted to share what’s worked for me in seeking purpose over passion,” she said.
The senior vice president of Bank of the Philippine Islands believes that passion “can be fleeting,” whereas purpose has the capacity to drive a deeper and more enduring meaning. She shared that some people might say it can be difficult to be passionate about interest rates and loan offerings but she chooses to encourage her team to look at their work in the consumer banking business as a “massive responsibility.”
With this, she suggested embracing the fact that you’ll never love your job 100 percent of the time or 365 days of the year—and that’s all right.
“Work towards a broader purpose. I believe you’ll find reasons to push forward even on the most difficult days.”
Be a lifelong student
Zobel de Ayala shared that she learned this nugget of wisdom from her dad who loves to read. “He reads everything he can get his hands on—newspapers, magazines, books, podcasts, if you can call that reading.”
The global board member of U-Go, which looks to drive education equality by providing scholarship grants to women, understands that the hardest part about being a student forever is making time for it. For this goal, she recommended dedicating time, be it through reading or even watching informative videos online.
“At the end of the day, sometimes you’re exhausted. Some of us have other responsibilities—kids, family, etc. Not every day will be 100 percent, but perfect on meeting that goal. The time you dedicate, it doesn’t matter if it’s five minutes or 20. It’s about starting a habit and forcing yourself to continue learning.”
Approach situations with empathy
Zobel de Ayala considers Ginbee Go, head of BPI Consumer Banking, the “ultimate example of empathy.” She described her as a good listener who considers all angles before making an opinion, and is “relentless” in deciding what’s best for customers.
She advised taking a second of your time to put yourself in the shoes of those that you’re working for or with to understand what best decision to make.
“Empathy is critical in building what is a new word for me, ‘allyship,’ which is about building an environment where people feel safe to come forward with their ideas, their thoughts, their concerns, and truly understanding what it is to be in someone else’s shoes so that you can understand how to help them better and build a dialogue of continuous improvement.”
Not every day will be 100 percent, but perfect on meeting that goal. The time you dedicate, it doesn’t matter if it’s five minutes or 20. It’s about starting a habit and forcing yourself to continue learning.
Celebrate constructive criticism
Zobel de Ayala, who serves as a board director and advisory committee member of several Ayala Group companies, thinks this life lesson is “controversial” because our culture is one that isn’t naturally open to criticism.
To illustrate this, she recounted her first day at her first job fresh out of college and how, at the end of her first week, her boss laid out a few points for improvement. The comments initially hurt the younger Mariana.
“But what I learned from that loss was something bigger. It was the idea that as people, we’re constantly evolving, and constructive criticism, while it feels uncomfortable, and sometimes a little painful, is essential to our evolution and our improvement. And this is in all aspects of our life, not just in work.”
She shared that she always seeks out feedback because it’s critical to success. As important, she added, is creating a culture where constructive criticism is accepted and even celebrated.
“I do feel, and I say this to my team, that we owe it to them to build this environment to ensure that they can be their best selves,” she added.
Practice ruthless accountability
Being a senior executive at one of the Philippines’ top commercial banks means Zobel de Ayala must work with a lot of teams, and because of this, she believes in the importance of teamwork and having shared trust to move forward together.
For this to be possible, she emphasized that there should be clarity when it comes to each team member’s roles and what the rules are for different people and projects. “When things get stressful, that’s when things start to get confusing. It should be clear who is meant to do what in the team.”
We’re constantly evolving, and constructive criticism, while it feels uncomfortable, and sometimes a little painful, is essential to our evolution and our improvement.
Muster the courage to take that leap
For the younger members of the audience, she stressed that it’s normal to not be sure of what your purpose or goal is. “A lot of times we feel the pressure that we have to be very sure about whatever career path we choose. I want to remind you that it doesn’t always work out so perfectly, and you should be okay with that. It’s okay to try different things. Otherwise, you’ll end up with an endless abyss of things you might want to do that you’ll never try.”
Getting started somewhere, no matter how small of a step you take to begin, is important, she added. “It takes courage to take that leap. It’s that courage that will keep you taking bigger steps and making bigger leaps in your lives,” she enthused.
Seek out mentors and find your tribe
“Another thing I wanted to point out, is that you’re not alone in this journey,” Mariana said. She highlighted the importance of finding one’s ‘tribe’ and support system, as these will ‘fill you with the fuel that you need to pursue your dreams and build the future that you see.”’
"There’s always going to be challenges in life but if you surround yourself with people who understand your purpose and believe in you will remind you to keep moving forward," she shared.
Going back to her earlier point about finding a support group, Zobel de Ayala encouraged participants to find role models, mentors, and allies as they go on their respective journeys.
“Learn from one another and seek advice. There’s so much we can learn from each other’s experiences.”
Build a proper mindset
Mariana commended the She Slays event, saying that it is an important starting place to find kindred spirits. Adding to this and to end her keynote, she said that building a proper mindset is crucial in one’s journey, especially for women.
“It can sometimes take the littlest voice in our heads to plant seeds of doubt and shake our confidence. In those moments, I suggest that you should remember that you’re all here for a reason and that you take up space wherever you go. This personal belief is what is going to keep you moving forward,” she said.
“Remember that your own unique experiences and perspectives add so much value to every conversation that you have. Never doubt that you have so much to contribute wherever you go,” Mariana added.