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Bidet company offers Americans chance to turn sh*t into gold in $10,000 'Super Bowel' contest

By NICK GARCIA Published Feb 10, 2022 8:39 pm

They say nobody can't turn sh*t into gold. But for a bidet company in New York, it's easy peasy Japanesy. In fact, it's offering Americans the chance to make money off of their hard-earned detritus in an online contest.

Tushy on early Feb. 10 announced its "Super Bowel," an apparent parody of the Super Bowl which will be held at the SoFi Stadium in California, on Sunday, Feb. 13 (Feb. 14 Philippine time).

Its challenge? Send a photo of one's post-big game poop on Super Bowel Monday. The prize? $10,000 (over P512,000) and Tushy's classic bidet.

“We’re serious," Tushy said in a tweet. “Bonus points if you tell us what food it used to be," followed by a pair of eyes emoji.

On behalf of the world's elite scatology community and to prove how exalted and prestigious Super Bowel is, the company even published its official contest rules

Among the official rules include the contest's exclusivity to legal residents of 50 United States and the District of Columbia aged 18 and up, except Tushy employees, relatives, and company affiliates.

Tushy also underscored that the entry:

  • is an original work;
  • has not been previously published;
  • has not previously won an award, accolade or other public recognition;
  • must have permission from a person whose biographical information is being used, among many other things.

The company said a panel "of at least three qualified judges" will determine the sole grand prize winner through the following criteria, on a scale of 1 to 5:

  • Texture of entry
  • Color of entry
  • Mass of entry
  • Extra flair of entry

Participants must post their entries and tag (and follow) Tushy on Twitter or Instagram. Their posts must also bear the hashtag #TUSHYSuperBowel.

If they're "poop shy," Tushy said they can shoot a direct message to enter the contest, but their profiles must be made public.

"All entries must be received by 11:59 p.m. Pacific Standard Time on February 14, 2022 (3:59PM on Feb. 15, Philippine time)," Tushy's contest rules state.

Tushy noted that Super Bowel won't start until next week, giving hopefuls enough time to pig out and prepare for that massive touchdown on their toilets during the big game day.

As the news made quite a splash on social media, it appeared to have turned the stomach of some users.

A certain Owen Williams just had a textual diarrhea of "Whys" over the contest's existence.

Ashtyn Butuso said that through Super Bowel, "everyday we stray further from God's light."

As for Connie Chan, she wished the judges luck in reviewing the entries.

Jacques Kitsch, meanwhile, gave particular attention to the Super Bowel contest rules, describing them as "worth a read."

While Tushy made a specific request to not send poop pics just yet, user Brendan Kennedy can't seem to hold it anymore and submitted an entry, albeit an unorthodox one.

Adrian Garro, meanwhile, is going on with the fad. From becoming gold, he said winning entries must be minted as NFTs or non-fungible tokens.