About half of single Filipinos have had bouts of ghosting—whether they're the ghosters or the ghosted—a recent online survey that dating app Bumble commissioned found.
As defined by Merriam Webster, ghosting is the "act or practice of abruptly cutting off all contact with someone (such as a former romantic partner) usually without explanation by no longer accepting or responding to phone calls, instant messages, etc."
Research company YouGov Singapore's survey—conducted Aug. 5 to 16 and published this week—found that 56% of 1,108 respondents aged 18 to 41 years old experienced ghosting, while 46% ghosted others.
Bumble said 60% of the ghosters deem the connection "not significant enough to merit further conversation." A third of these ghosters claim they choose to ghost even before the first date.
Some 46% of the respondents, meanwhile, believe having a busy schedule is the main reason why ghosting happens.
Some 48% of the respondents felt discouraged about dating again after being ghosted. Some 73% of them also don't believe that ghosting was a suitable way to end a relationship.
Lucille McCart, Bumble's Asia-Pacific communications director, in a statement said they have a "firm ‘anti-ghosting’ policy," noting it's always better to have open, honest, and kind conversations if one wishes to end a relationship or even just a correspondence.
“If you have experienced ghosting and it has impacted your confidence or made you feel disheartened," McCart said, "just know it’s likely because your match has poor communication skills, not any shortcomings of your own."
"Either way, move forward with the knowledge that they aren’t the right match for you—there are plenty more people on Bumble who would love the chance to get to know you!” she added.
Having said that, Bumble gave unsolicited advice to its users who felt that they're no longer compatible with their match—so they won't become ghosters:
- A friendly message is always better than silent treatment if someone you’ve connected with reaches out and you’re no longer interested. Ideally a breakup should happen face to face, but if you’ve been seeing someone casually or have only been on a few dates, a text is okay.
- Remember that even though it can be awkward and anxiety-inducing, being upfront about how you feel is less offensive to the other person than cutting off communication with no explanation. That kind of behavior can be upsetting and damaging, and it is much nicer to let them down gently.
- Rejection can be kind and compassionate in its delivery—just think about how you would like to be treated if the situation was reversed.
- Always keep your messages positive—not interested because you can’t stand the way they chew with their mouth open? No need to tell them that.
- If you’re breaking the news via text, keep it short and sweet and it will be over as soon as you’ve had the courage to hit "send."
- If you’re doing it in person, arrange to meet for a quick coffee or a walk in the park, so that it is less awkward if the other person wants to leave right away—going for a meal or a drink will mean there is more hanging around, and might send the wrong impression and leave them even more disappointed.
Bumble, the women-first dating and social networking app, has 12.3 million global monthly active users.